Plans

“Step one, we make a plan. Step two, we execute the plan. Step three, we realize the folly of trying to predict complex situations and human behavior. Step four, we improvise. Step five, drinks?”

“Sure,” I said. “We’ll get drinks after the job.” I glanced at my watch. “But after we get out of town—”

“Come on—”

“Oh!” I sighed. “You just want to flirt with that barmaid again. Just ask her out or stay in town after they put a price on your head. I don’t care. I’m taking my share and heading you’ll-never-know-where. Singapore? Caribbean? Europe? Africa? Asia? Anywhere. Maybe I’ll travel. I’ll have the dough.”

We sat in silence awhile.

“So, this really is the last job?” he asked, his voice low.

“That’s the plan,” I said.

“Then I really will want…” his voice trailed off.

“What?”

“I’ll want one last drink then.”

I tried to make my face hard.

“You’re too sentimental,” I said.

He leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling.

“I never did this for the money, man. You know, with my credentials and morals, I’d probably be able to bluff my way onto some board somewhere and get a fat paycheck for doing nothing. But I gotta do something, you know?”

I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands.

“I’m tired,” I admitted. “I—I haven’t been able to sleep too well.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Is it Len?” he asked.

“Lenny?” I thought about it. “Maybe,” I said. “I trusted…we both…I guess, I don’t know anymore.”

“We had to do what we had to do,” he said. I looked at him. His face was haggard.

“I can’t do it anymore. Not anymore. I used to think, well, we’d all end up in the clink eventually. Planned it, in my way. How we could hide the money, get it back with interest when we got out. His share, I helped him hide the money here and there. He never had a head for details. It’s all still there. He changed the passwords, but…well, he was never that creative either.” I studied my friend’s face. “I—we could split it, or, well…”

“You want to give it to Janice?”

I looked away.

“Now who’s sentimental?” he laughed. Then the smile faded. “I don’t care. Like I said, I don’t do this for the money. You’re wrestling with what we did, you feel guilt. I know, you’re thinking, ‘If I had done this or that, what if I had—’ but you’ll never get any peace thinking that way. What’s done is done; you can’t change it. And,” he paused, making sure I was looking at him, “you’re not God. You can’t control everything, you can’t see everything, and other people are real people who can do really great things or terrible things. You spend all your time trying to play on the vices of rich and wicked men. Their souls are so shriveled up, it’s no wonder you’re a determinist. Len, he made a choice, and it surprised you. You can study a mark and figure out what food he’ll order before he even thinks about it, but you knew Len, and he surprised you. There was a darkness there you didn’t see. Well, that was his choice, we made our choice, and everybody’s making choices all the time in this crazy world. If you choose to walk away, one last job, that’s fine, man. I’ll find something else. But let your choices be yours and not a ghost’s.”