Dialogue: The Unobserved Bullet

“Nothing exists outside of perception, which is not to say that all perception is true. The false and the true both exist as perceptions, are both real—”

“What about a bullet?” I asked my friend.

“What?”

“Say, a bullet, fired by happenchance, a silent bullet which flies unobserved through the brain of a philosopher while he’s rambling. It goes too quickly for him to notice, and nobody knows it, but he’s still dead. The unperceived bullet is, I think we’ll find, very real.”

“Reality is not existence, at least as I’m using the words.”

“Boob bada beep, bo-boop.”

“What?”

“That means,” I said, “that if you want to use words in any way you want, then I can play that game too, diddle-y-wink. Pomp-manchu. Excalibur.”

“You’re being silly.”

“That’s my point.”

“Listen, a precise use of words is necessary—”

“Slartibartfast.”

“Come on.”

“Just listen to what you’re saying. ‘Nothing exists outside of perception,’ and yet you use words in such a manner that my perception and your perception are completely at odds. What’s the point of talking like that if you can barely follow your own logic?”

“To know truth.”

“The truth is a bullet. The truth are those things which don’t care whether they’re perceived or not. The unstoppable object which will mow you down if you stand in front of it.”

“No, that’s what I call reality.”

“And that’s the difference between you and me; reality is the only truth I perceive.”