Asthma

I had a recent flair up of asthma, and it feels like a constant weight pressing against my lungs. It can be quite hazardous to one’s pride when he can’t walk from his room to the bathroom without wheezing like a squeak toy, and I admit to a certain shame. I don’t like to carry my inhaler around, I don’t like people to see it, and I don’t like taking it.  

I’m in this current position because . . . I don’t know. We’ve all been trying to piece it together. I went for a walk in the cold air and ran a few feet, but I felt fine afterward. I ate something that I have an allergy to, and that could have set me off (usually, it would just upset my stomach). It is hard not knowing why I suddenly can’t breathe, and it’s hard, year after year, watching my asthma get worse and worse, like my father, who eventually couldn’t work because of his multiple breathing issues.

Anyway, this is more of a rant than anything else, a scream to heaven when I don’t have the breath to scream.