To Be Frank

It seems incumbent upon me to speak of my insights up to this point, but to be frank, I do not think anything of worth has come from this class. I cannot manufacture anything complementary to say, and find the mother’s maxim, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” repeating in my head. Yet, though it is against my upbringing, this assignment compels me to speak.

Insight I. What is SF 511?

Signing onto this course, I asked myself the question above. All I knew was that it was a required class, that it fit nicely into my schedule, and that it moved me into enough credit hours to be full time. I left the first lecture with a rather dreadful sense that I had made a huge mistake: We had spent nearly the whole two hours discussing this very question, and there was no clear answer, only platitudes.

I had expected something along the lines of applied theology or philosophy; I have come to suspect that it is nothing more than an ideology-meter, a place for students to regurgitate the responses expected of them.

Insight II. This Class Is Not About the Truth

As I have taken part in classroom discussions, it has become apparent that the overwhelming ethos of this course is focused on what might be called personal reflection or navel gazing. There seems to be a preeminence on the experiential. I grit my teeth through blithe discussions of people’s insights regarding some happenchance of a day. I have nothing against this in principle. I concede that people need outlets of this sort. However, when these personal experiences are lifted up as counter arguments, I am somewhat maddened. I don’t give tuppence regarding someone’s lived experience when that experience is false. My experience is that truth has no relevance in this classroom.  

Insight III. The Word “Love” Is a Wonderful Cudgel

There is a powerful quote from a corny sci-fi, ” . . . a very flexible word. It can mean just about anything you want it to mean.” It is loving to say, “Black lives matter,” but not loving to say, “All lives matter.” It is loving to condemn those who disagree, and unloving to disagree. I assume it is loving to praise murderous rioters who use the threat of violence for political ends and unloving to call this terrorism. If love is not first founded on the truth, its use as an adjective says little about the word it’s attached to and much about the person attaching it. Men love darkness rather than light.

Insight IV. There Is No Point in Speaking

In a culture unconcerned with truth, nothing of importance can be said, for there is only will and power left. I do not mean to say that this class is totally devoid of truth, only that this class is unconcerned with the subject.

Insight V. I Am Compelled to Speak

As I have gone through this class, I find that I am compelled to speak, though I hold no hope that I can accomplish anything by my words. It seems enough that I write them.

Final Thoughts

Finally, there is still something more to say: I do not want to write this; I would rather have written some meaningless jumble of happy little thoughts regarding whatever this class is about, but I cannot do it. I am sure what I write seems rather unfair; it must certainly be mean considering how kind everyone has been. Yet there is a kindness which is unkind, and an unkindness which is loving. I have presented the truth as best I know how, and that is all I know how to do.

Regarding Phrases like “Black Lives Matter” and “All Lives Matter”

This was not part of the original essay but part of a class discussion:

Furthermore, I think those saying that “All lives matter,” though inarticulate, are trying to say something. Short, brief slogans like “Black lives matter,” or “All lives matter,” often carry more than the prima facie meaning of their literal words. I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment that black lives matter. I find the organization BLM detestable. I cannot in good conscience say, “Black lives matter,” because it means more than its words. When people respond that “All lives matter,” they do not intend to diminish the real problems black people face in America; they wish to push back against an evil ideology, the same sort of ideology which led to gulags and massive, state sponsored murder. I personally do not use the phrase “All lives matter,” because I know it doesn’t communicate what it is intended to communicate. I think slogans are dangerous for this reason, and that both sides ought to start using real thought as they engage with each other instead of these short cuts.