The method I myself would and do employ is patience. There really is no need to go through any trouble on my account. Nature will take its course. I’ll soon have enough money to smoke a cigar a day, and after that, it won’t take long, will it? I really don’t see why you all feel the need to keep sending assassins after me with guns and knives. The bomb misfired (that’s not my fault), and personally, I feel that the tomahawk was a little on the nose. Just wait. My liver won’t hold out much longer, I assure you.
To Whomever’s Trying to Kill Me
Tale Told 