My bank is always asking me to go paperless. “Save a tree,” they say, but so far, I have declined their kind offers. So, every month they send me a correspondence which I promptly stuff into a drawer unopened.
Why? you may ask. Why?
I’ll tell you why. Nobody tells me anything. I am so out of the loop, I am in great distress that I may pass away and no one will bother to tell me. I would hate to miss my own funeral. So, I don’t want my bank to stop sending me Monthly Statements until I’m legally declared dead. If a month ever goes by without my bank bothering me with superfluous paperwork, I’ll begin to suspect that my friends and family have been greatly bereaved.
Tale Told 